160 - What’s Your Dating Story? Change It, Change Everything

Have you ever thought about what your dating narrative is? Whether you realize it or not, there’s a story you tell yourself about your dating life. This narrative shapes how you approach relationships, influences your confidence, and impacts the way you show up in potential partnerships. It’s the running dialogue in your mind that interprets your past experiences and creates expectations for your future. Taking the time to consider what your dating narrative is can be a powerful step in understanding how you relate to others and how successful you’ll be in finding a meaningful relationship.

What's Your Story?

Start by asking yourself: *What is the story I have going on in my head about dating?* Maybe it’s a story of disappointment, where you feel like dating never works out for you. Or perhaps you’ve told yourself you’re not attractive enough, smart enough, or experienced enough to attract the kind of person you want. These stories can be deeply ingrained and shape how you approach each new interaction. If your inner dialogue leans toward negative, self-defeating thoughts, it’s worth recognizing that this narrative might be holding you back.

Helpful or Hurtful?

The next important question is: *Is this narrative helpful or hurtful?* Think about how your current story affects your actions. Does it encourage you to take risks, be open to new experiences, and believe in your worth? Or does it keep you stuck in patterns of doubt and fear, assuming that things will never change? If your narrative is more hurtful than helpful, it could be time to reframe it. Understanding that the story in your head isn’t set in stone is empowering. You have the ability to change the way you view your dating journey.

So, what dating narrative do you want to have? You get to choose. Imagine a story where you feel confident in your ability to meet new people, where you believe that meaningful connections are possible, and where you see yourself as deserving of love. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending that dating is always easy, but it does mean creating a mindset that supports your success instead of undermining it. A positive narrative can transform the way you approach dating, making it feel less like a chore and more like an adventure.

Practice

Once you’ve identified the kind of dating narrative you want, start practicing it. Catch yourself when old, negative thoughts creep in, and challenge them. Replace them with new, empowering beliefs that align with the story you want to live. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never find someone,” stop and remind yourself, “I am open to meeting new people, and I trust that the right connection will happen in time.” It may feel unnatural at first, but the more you practice, the more your mindset will shift.

It’s also helpful to reflect on how your new narrative can guide your actions. If you see yourself as someone worthy of love and capable of forming strong relationships, how might you approach dating differently? Perhaps you’d be more open to meeting new people, less afraid of rejection, or more willing to be vulnerable. The story you tell yourself has real power in shaping your behavior. As your mindset changes, so will your actions, and ultimately, your results.

Get Support

Consider sharing your new dating narrative with others who support you. Whether it’s friends, family, or a coach, having someone to hold you accountable and remind you of the positive story you’re creating can be incredibly helpful. They can offer encouragement, reflect back the progress you’re making, and provide perspective when you start to doubt yourself. Sometimes, it’s easier to believe in a new story when others believe it too.

Ultimately, your dating narrative is yours to write. The past may have influenced it, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By recognizing the power of your thoughts and consciously choosing a narrative that serves you, you take control of your dating journey. You’re not at the mercy of what has happened before—you are the author of what happens next. So, what story will you tell yourself moving forward?

Dating Narrative Workshop

If you want to really nail down a dating narrative that empowers you and puts you on path to success, join Dating Made Easier because our live workshop on November 6 will be all about Creating a New Dating Narrative.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate