157 - Do People Get You?
For centuries, people with disabilities have struggled to be seen, to have others look at us and recognize us for the people we are. As I said in a recent episode, historically we have either been gawked at as though our differences are too bizarre for the mind to wrap its head around or we’re ignored because it’s easier for others to just not allow us into their ecosystem.
Being Seen
This is probably most true in dating. It continues to be hard to be seen as a potential partner. That’s why we got to keep putting ourselves out there, keep letting the world know about the potential within us to be loving partners. But the other piece of the challenge is people getting you. Usually if you live with a disability or other significant difference, you know right away what I mean by “get you,” that you’re a person with your own desires and needs and not lumped into some category. It also means they understand you’re a complex human and not some label.
In our Dating Made Easier community, the "See Me, Get Me" method is a powerful approach we teach on how to be noticed and understood in the dating scene. This method is about shifting the focus from being seen as different to being recognized as a unique individual with your own personal desires, dreams, and qualities. The "See Me, Get Me" method aims to change this narrative by empowering you to show your true self in a way that attracts positive attention and genuine interest from potential partners.
Confidence and Authenticity
A key component of the "See Me" part of the method is learning how to present yourself confidently and authentically. It involves understanding that everyone, regardless of ability, has the right to be seen as a potential romantic partner. This process begins with building self-awareness and self-esteem. When you believe in your worth, you naturally project confidence, which is attractive to others. People are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin, and the "See Me" technique helps you cultivate this comfort by embracing your unique attributes and presenting them proudly.
The "Get Me" aspect of the method is about being understood and appreciated for who you are, not just for your appearance or perceived differences. It’s about communicating your needs, desires, and boundaries clearly to potential partners. For you, this might mean addressing misconceptions directly or finding creative ways to express your individuality. The goal is to create authentic connections where both parties feel understood and valued. The "Get Me" strategy encourages open and honest communication, fostering deeper relationships that go beyond superficial attraction.
For you, the "See Me, Get Me" method can be particularly transformative. It encourages you to see yourself not as any definition of societal stigma but as an individual with unique qualities worth knowing. This shift in mindset is critical; when you embrace your full identity, you are more likely to attract partners who appreciate you for who you truly are. By owning your narrative and asserting your right to be seen and understood, you challenge societal norms and help build a more inclusive dating culture.
Visibility
The method also emphasizes the importance of visibility and presence in the dating scene. Being seen involves actively participating in social activities, both online and offline, and presenting yourself in a way that reflects your true personality. This could mean creating a captivating dating profile, engaging in community events, or simply making an effort to be more visible in places where like-minded individuals might gather. The more visible you are, the more opportunities you create for others to see the real you.
Ultimately, "See Me, Get Me" is about fostering self-advocacy and personal agency in the dating process. It teaches you to take control of your dating journey, to assert your right to be seen as a romantic prospect, and to express your needs confidently. By doing so, you learn not only to attract the right kind of attention but also to navigate the dating scene with a sense of empowerment and authenticity. This method helps break down barriers and allows for meaningful connections to flourish, free from the limitations of societal stereotypes and misconceptions.
The "See Me, Get Me" method is a reminder that everyone, regardless of ability, deserves to be seen and understood in their romantic pursuits. It’s about embracing your identity fully and not settling for being defined by a single aspect of yourself, such as a disability. By fostering a culture of self-worth and open communication, this method enables you to break free from societal confines and build relationships that are rooted in mutual respect and understanding.
Want to be seen and got more? Join our Dating Made Easier community to get coaching, resources, and the support of like minded people to help you have the right people see and get you.
Check out our Dating Memberships:
Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation
Artwork photo by Elevate
