149 - The Unsexy Part of Dating You Need
When I talk about “doing the work” in dating and relationships, what comes to mind? Swiping? Being on a lot of dating apps? Trying to date as many people as you can? I’m actually not referring to any of that when I talk about the work of dating.
For me, the work of dating is more about what’s happening to you socially and emotionally. Dating, putting yourself out there, taking risks can all do a number on your self esteem and confidence, particularly when you’re dating as someone who has been marginalized in the dating scene,
I think it’s human nature to resist looking at how to take care of ourselves in this way in dating because it’s not as fun or sexy as maybe getting on an app or fantasizing about finding your person. But when you do the hard work of learning to take care of yourself emotionally while dating, you get so much better results.
Today we’re looking at seven benefits of working on yourself while trying to date and looking at dating as a more social and emotional journey.
Understand Your Worth: In the journey of dating, it's essential to first understand and appreciate your worth. By doing the personal work, you develop a deep sense of self-esteem and self-worth, which is foundational for attracting and maintaining healthy relationships. When you know your value, you set boundaries and standards that ensure you are treated with the respect and kindness you deserve. This self-awareness not only boosts your confidence but also makes you more attractive to potential partners who are drawn to your self-assuredness and authenticity.
Clarify Your Desires: Personal work helps you get clear on what you truly want in a relationship. By taking the time to reflect on your past experiences, values, and goals, you can identify the qualities and characteristics you seek in a partner. This clarity allows you to focus your energy on finding someone who aligns with your desires, rather than settling for less. It also helps you communicate more effectively with potential partners, making it easier to find someone who is compatible with you.
Deeper Emotional Intelligence: Successful dating requires a high level of emotional intelligence, which involves understanding and managing your emotions as well as empathizing with others. Personal work helps you become more in tune with your feelings, enabling you to respond to dating situations in a thoughtful and constructive manner. This emotional maturity allows you to navigate the ups and downs of dating with grace and resilience, making it easier to build strong, lasting connections.
Overcome Past Baggage: We all carry some form of emotional baggage from past relationships or experiences. Doing the personal work helps you consciously address and resolve these issues, freeing you from patterns that may sabotage your dating efforts. By confronting and healing from past wounds, you create a clean slate for new relationships. This process not only benefits your dating life but also contributes to your overall well-being and happiness.
Enhance Communication Skills: Effective communication is key to any successful relationship. Personal work often involves practicing and improving your communication skills, such as active listening, expressing your needs, and setting boundaries. These skills are crucial in dating, as they help you build trust and understanding with potential partners. Being able to communicate clearly and confidently can prevent misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.
Build a Growth Mindset: A growth mindset is the belief that you can develop and improve through effort and learning. Personal work encourages this mindset, which is particularly valuable in dating. It helps you approach dating challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks. This perspective not only reduces the fear of rejection but also empowers you to take proactive steps in your dating life, such as trying new approaches or stepping out of your comfort zone.
Attract Quality Partners: When you invest in personal development, you naturally attract higher-quality partners who are also committed to growth and self-improvement. This is because like attracts like; when you are in a good place mentally and emotionally, you are more likely to meet others who are similarly well-rounded and ready for a healthy relationship. Personal work helps you become the best version of yourself, making you more attractive to the kind of partner you desire.
Maximize Your Investment in Dating: By doing the personal work, you get the most out of your investment in tools and resources like the Dating Made Easier membership. This membership offers valuable insights and strategies, but its effectiveness depends on your willingness to apply what you learn. In essence, the more you invest in yourself, the more you can gain from your dating journey.
Check out our Dating Memberships:
Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation
Artwork photo by Elevate
