109 - Saying No to Sexual Ableism
We have an important topic to discuss: the significance of saying no to sexual ableism in dating and relationships, especially for people with disabilities.
Understanding Sexual Ableism
Let's start by defining sexual ableism. What is it, and how does it manifest in the context of dating and relationships?
Sexual ableism is the discrimination and bias that people with disabilities face concerning their sexual desires, capabilities, and experiences, based on a belief that people with disabilities are inferior in these areas.
Manifestations of Sexual Ableism
Sexual ableism can manifest in various ways. For instance, people may assume that individuals with disabilities are asexual or incapable of having fulfilling sexual lives. This assumption can lead to exclusion, stereotyping, or patronizing behavior in dating and relationships.
The Harm of Stereotypes and Fetishization
These stereotypes can be deeply harmful. One common example is the fetishization of disability, known as devotees. Some individuals may be attracted to people with disabilities solely because of their disability, which objectifies them. On the other hand, some might reject individuals with disabilities because of their preconceived notions about what a "normal" or "ideal" partner should be like. Both situations are harmful, as they reduce a person to their disability rather than seeing them as a whole, multi-dimensional individual.
Combatting Sexual Ableism
So, how can we actively combat sexual ableism in dating and relationships? First, we need to name it. Open and honest communication with partners is also key. Inclusive conversations about desires, boundaries, and needs help create an environment of mutual respect.
The Role of Media in Shaping Attitudes
Media has a significant role to play in shaping societal attitudes. When the media portrays people with disabilities in meaningful, diverse, and authentic ways, it helps break down stereotypes.
Embracing Diversity and Respecting Autonomy
It's about embracing diversity and respecting individual autonomy. For individuals with disabilities, it's essential to know and own the right to pursue fulfilling and satisfying relationships just like anyone else. We need to communicate openly with their partners about their desires and boundaries and be empowered to say no to any form of discrimination or objectification.
Conclusion: A Call for Inclusivity and Respect
I hope that this conversation has shed light on the importance of saying no to sexual ableism in dating and relationships, and that we can collectively work towards a more inclusive and respectful society for all.
Resources
- Free download - Rising above Sexual Ableism
- Episodes references: Dateability and I'm Just So Uncomfortable
- Facebook group: Confidently Dating with a Disability
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Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
