90 - Ghosting

Today we're diving into a topic that many of us have experienced on online platforms: ghosting. We'll explore how hurtful it can be and share some strategies for getting over it.  Here's an email I recently received about being ghosted:

Dear Kathy, dear Radiant Abilities Team,

I found your site through Google while looking up resources regarding Ghosting and relationships and first of all I want to say I’m really happy to see there are people like you and your team who care about giving disabled people help and more visibility. I’m disabled myself and even if I feel the acknowledgment and care for people with one got better in recent years, some aspects of living with a disability still feel like glossed over and it's heartwarming to see that there are people who seem to genuinely care to help here. I'm reaching out to you from Germany because I've been ghosted by someone very dear to me.

To this man and all of you, I say this woman who ghosted you helped you identify something within yourself. She excavated it for you but all these positive qualities you’re now feeling have always been within you, waiting to come out. They belong to you, completely independent of her presence in your life.

Let’s move on to the strategy of self care. Self-care is crucial during times like these. Instead of internalizing the ghosting as a reflection of self worth, remind yourself that ghosting says more about the other person's inability to communicate than about you. It's important not to take it personally. Journaling your thoughts and feelings to be therapeutic and allowed you to process emotions and gain clarity.

Engage in activities you enjoy as a way of getting your mind off of the ghosting experience, even if you need to go through the motions. And lastly, get support from people who love and support you - and who will always be there for you. Closure doesn't always come from external sources and happiness should not be dependent on someone else's actions. Create closure for yourself by either saying or writing what you would say to the person as a goodbye.

Ghosting is a reflection of the other person's behavior, not your value. Take the time to heal, focus on yourself, and maintain a positive outlook. Most importantly, don't let past experiences hinder your future chances at finding love and connection. Keep an open mind and believe that the right person will come into your life at the right time.

Resources

Use this Rejection Survival Guide to see rejection in a new way so that it doesn't crush you and you may even learn and grow from it.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.