88 - When The People You Love Don’t Want You To Date
Family and friends. You probably rely on them the most. They’re the people who love you, hopefully see you for who you are, and I really hope they get the value you bring to the world. I know that’s not always the case, and relationships with family and friends can get sticky and complicated. We’re going to talk about one of those sticky situations with family and friends today—navigating the difficult situation when your family and friends don't support your decision to date.
Protectiveness and Concerns
Family and friends can certainly be very protective. They can resist out of concern about your well-being and fear that dating can bring additional challenges or heartbreak. It can be tough navigating those conversations and trying to convince them that dating is important to you.
Listening to Their Concerns
It takes time and patience, but if you want to try to problem solve this in a proactive way, you can start by listening to their concerns. Often their worries come from a place of love and genuine concern for your happiness. You can reassure them that you are aware of the potential challenges and are ready to face them.
Reminding Them of Your Worth
Sometimes they need to be reminded of the obvious, even at the risk of offending them—that having a disability doesn't make you any less deserving of love and companionship. They may need to be reminded that disability doesn't define you or limit your capacity for a fulfilling relationship.
Educating and Communicating
Communication and trusting that people get you is key. Sometimes we need to educate our family and friends about disability inclusion, highlighting the fact that love can flourish regardless of physical or cognitive differences. We also may need to emphasize that by limiting dating options, they are inadvertently limiting our opportunities for personal growth, happiness, and independence. And then sometimes we just say nothing. However, in our minds we say confidently, “Watch me.”
Winning Them Over with Positive Examples
For my family and friends, they saw my determination and the positive changes that dating brought into my life. I made a conscious effort to introduce them to my potential partners, so they could see the genuine connections we were building. They began to witness the joy and fulfillment that came from being in a loving relationship. Slowly but surely, their concerns began to fade away, and they started embracing my dating journey.
Staying True to Your Path
Firstly, don't give up on your dreams and desires just because others don't understand or approve. Believe in yourself and your right to pursue happiness. Secondly, be patient and understanding with your family and friends. Remember that change takes time, and they might need time to process their concerns. Keep an open line of communication and share your thoughts and feelings. But also, if needed, remind them it’s ultimately your life and your choices.
Building a Supportive Community
Finally, surround yourself with a supportive community of like-minded individuals who can offer encouragement and understanding. This includes maybe limiting or ending relationships with people who don’t fully support you in your dating journey.
Conclusion: You Deserve Love and Happiness
To everyone out there facing resistance from their loved ones, remember that you deserve love, companionship, and the chance to explore meaningful relationships, just like anyone else. Your disability doesn't define you or limit your capacity for love. Stay true to yourself, communicate openly with your family and friends, and believe in the power of getting the love you want.
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