31 -How to Break Up

It can sometimes be harder to break up with someone than be the one that’s being left. Break ups can be thoughtful and intended with love for both yourself and the other person. In this episode we’re going to over what you need to consider when breaking up with someone so that it’s done in a thoughtful and even loving way and not filled with drama.

Check In With Yourself

Listen to what you’re feeling and respect them. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that and communicate about it. Ask yourself the following questions:

•  “Is this how I want to be feeling with this person?”
• Am I happy in this relationship?
• Am I being treated the way I want to?
• Am I being spoken to the way I want to be?
• Is there anything I’m uncomfortable with?
• Do we have the same values?
• Are we on the same page in our relationship?
• Do we have support as a couple?
• Am I growing as a person?
• What else?

Examine the “Health” of a Relationship

Have the courage to speak up and say if something doesn’t feel right. Use “I statements” and speak from your power.Say what you need, knowing they may not be able to give it to you.

The reality of any relationship is that a person may not be able to give you what you need. Like rejection, this is not necessarily a reflection of you, but more of where they are at. It’s then up to you to decide on what you want to do in the relationship. Do you want to try to work through it or is it a sign that it’s not the right relationship for you? 

The questions you should ask yourself are also great questions to ask your  partner as a way of making sure you're on the same page about your relationship and the direction it is heading.

Knowing When to Leave

• When there’s any type of abuse - physical, emotional, mental. Leave at the first sign.
• When you’re generally unhappy in the relationship.
• When you don’t feel respected or treated well.
• When you are not on the same page with your partner about your relationship.

Make sure you’re as happy and fulfilled in a relationship as you are NOT in one.

Where Do We Go From Here? 

• It can sometimes be harder to break up with someone than be the one that’s being left. Break ups can be thoughtful and intended with love for both yourself and the other person. Follow the steps we just went through if you find you’re unsure if you’re with the right person.
• Download the resource guide Having Difficult Conversations to help you.

Resources 

• Free download - Having Difficult Conversations

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