Breaking The Shame Cycle: Take a Risk and Build Success

Radiant Abilities is on a bit of a hiatus due to spending some quality time with my sweet mom. But oh, how you’re always in my mind – planning, strategizing, thinking about providing more encouragement to live fully with disability. And don’t you worry, I know we have to plunge into taking risks. That’s why I’m offering a replay of a post to help you shed any shame about living in a body and mind that perform differently from most people.

Once we have the shame licked, taking those risks becomes a whole lot easier!

Ever since I became aware of my own struggle with shame and disability, I’ve been passionate about helping others heal from shame. Shame is like a wet blanket that hides our brightest light and our deepest strengths.

For many people with disabilities, shame can be very pervasive. Even when you have a loving and supportive environment, negative societal attitudes can seep into your subconsciousness.

Let’s face it. While society is progressing toward seeing the value of all abilities, it still has a ways to go before it entirely sheds that insidious “disability = broken, not whole, less than” message.

The internalized experience of the recipient (i.e. me, you) of these stealthy messages is shame, the feeling that you either do something “bad” or are “bad.”

I think for many of us at a certain age (what exact age, I don’t know) or who have gone through various life experiences, we realize that shame is a big time-sucker and energy-drainer. This is a beautiful realization because it becomes much easier to not open the door when shame comes knocking.

We also realize that shame is like weeds that choke off a beautiful plant. Like weeds, shame needs to be “nipped in the bud” so the damage is minimal.

I know I sound like it’s easy to not feel shame about a disability and it’s not. I still have my moments of drooling and falling in which I feel the flush of shame about my body doing something I would prefer it not to do. The difference today is that prickly feeling of shame lasts a millisecond compared to what it once did.

Having seen how I wasted time in my younger years with shame and having worked with so many people in the counseling setting on the firm grip that shame had on them, I am committed to Radiant Abilities being a resource for healing from that unnecessary burden.

As I’m fond of saying, you never see a baby born with shame. It’s something we acquire, so we can always give it back from where it came from. The best way to give it back is to LIVE YOUR LIFE, TAKE RISKS, DREAM, PLAY BIG!

So imagine my surprise when I read the email I posted last week that suggested I should be ashamed of myself for having a business that promotes and profits from the release of shame in people with disabilities, sent in by someone with a disability.

If that doesn’t keep the cycle of shame going, I don’t know what does. Would this person say the same about every employee of a disability service organization who makes a living from providing services to people with disabilities?

Here’s the thing, there are thousands of people with disabilities who have knowledge and valuable insight from their life experience of living with a disability. Isn’t one of the best ways to promote disability empowerment is to have people tapping into their expertise and profiting from it?

The general population does it all the time. It’s time that people with disabilities were more included in this. The world needs what you have to offer. And do yourself a huge favor, value yourself by putting a price on what you have to give. Feel free to contact me if this entices you, but you just aren’t sure where to begin.

Lastly remember, as you support others to release shame, take risks and live big, you do the same for yourself and all people with disabilities.

So two quick questions:

1. What shame can you begin to release around your disability?
2. What is a risk you can take to begin to live bigger than you are?