Doubtful Confidence Works? Read This.

Jessica Kramer is back with her most compelling message to date (no pun intended). If you’re looking for a relationship, life with a disability, and maybe are a bit terrified of rejection, keep reading. Hope and encouragement are in store.

My relationship status used to be “its complicated.” I wanted to have a relationship, but I did not want to disclose my Cerebral Palsy (CP) to someone in fear of rejection. So, for the longest time, it was easier being single because I didn’t have to talk about my disability with someone I wanted romantically. That felt too vulnerable.

I honestly thought that my disability was something a guy was going to have to “get over” in order to love me.  The few times I braved dating, I always felt that my CP was the topic of lengthy discussions which left me feeling inadequate. 

My disability was this big THING that made my partner feel uncomfortable. It was hard for me to date. I wanted my partner to know about my disability because it is a huge part of my identity. However, I did not want my partner to see me ONLY as someone with a disability.

I was always debating when was the right time to disclose and worrying what their reaction would be. This internal struggle was a huge barrier to finding dating success.

Then I took the course, Dating, Relationships and Disability: How to Have Confidence and Succeed, and really understood the best way to approach the issue. 

Long ago I realized that my disability was something to be proud of. Being born with CP, it’s always been part of me. My disability is my identity. Disability for many is seen as a socially constructed idea because society idealizes what a normal body should look like and act like. When it came to dating though, all my knowledge about the social construction of “acceptable bodies” disappeared. 

No longer was I proud of my body. Instead I was afraid to mention the word disability because I thought that no man still finds me attractive. I became insecure in my disability identity and thought any potential partner would only see my body as dysfunctional, not desirable.  

Letting Go of The Worry

Dating, Relationships and Disability: How to Have Confidence and Succeed, helped let go of worrying about how a partner would react to my disability. If they cannot handle it, it is not my problem. For the first time I heard someone else saying that I should be proud of my disability and shouldn’t compensate for it in a relationship. Hearing someone else say this boosted my confidence and allowed me to pursue a loving, healthy relationship. I didn’t need to plan out the disclosure of my disability because I was confident in my body and knew whatever his reaction was had more to do with him than it did with me. 

The Result

After taking Dating, Relationships and Disability: How to Have Confidence and Succeed, I can say with bold conviction, I am disabled and proud in all situations. If some person has difficulty with disability, it is not up to me to make them feel better.

The right guy for me is the one that pushes me to express my disability identity, not oppress it. 

In May of this year, Jessica took Dating, Relationships and Disability: How to Have Confidence and Succeed. A couple weeks ago, I received an email from her updating me on her new job and this:

I also started seeing someone and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. Your course helped my confidence and I thank you for that. 

Relationship Status

Jessica dated Seth for three years and they were married in November 2022.

Jessica’s previous blog posts are on the message of a cure, disclosing a disability, negative reactions from dates, and not looking disabled.

Resources

The course Jessica mentioned that helped her gain confidence to date, Dating, Relationships and Disability: How to Have Confidence and Succeed, is available in the Dating Made Easier membership. Join today to access the support and resources to transform your dating journey and get the results you want.